Please Remember Me
by SVUCSIWTRDOOLluver
Summary: 3 part song fic about angst Gabby, no spoilers for any episode, and basically, Gibbs is pushing Abby away, hurting her. What can she do to get through to him? She doesn't know. And that's the scary part. I don't own NCIS! Chapter 3 is up, FINISHED!
1. The Days Keep Coming Without Fail

My very first song fic for NCIS! It's an angsty story for Gibbs/Abby, takes place after Kate's death but before Jenny's death, and the summary basically is that Gibbs and Abby were in a pretty serious relationship, and then, after a horrible case where a woman and her young girl were killed (and they looked like Shannon and Kelly) Gibbs goes into depression, drinking and not letting Abby help him. She goes to the team for help, and they try, but get nowhere. Finally, Abby decides that leaving is the only recourse, because she can't stay where the man she loves but doesn't love her is. Long summary, huh? ENJOY!!!

--

_All our tears have reached the sea  
Part of you will live in me  
Way down deep inside my heart_

"You are one screwed up son of a bitch." Gibbs growled to the man sitting across from him. The man in question, Lt. Harold Callender, had killed his wife and young daughter just a few days before. This one hurt Gibbs deeply because the wife and young daughter looked almost exactly like Shannon and Kelly.

What he couldn't shake was the feeling that Shannon's and Kelly's deaths were his fault, though he knew that wasn't true. If he went home and told Abby that, she would immediately hug him and tell him the exact same thing.

Abby.

Thinking of her made his heart hurt, he loved her so much. Granted he had never told her that he loved her out loud, only in a few gestures. But he knew that Abby knew he loved her. Or, at least, he hoped that Abby knew. The fear of losing her was so intensified that he was literally afraid of commitment with her. Nor was he ready for commitment. He didn't want his next ex-wife to be Abby, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

So, as soon as Gibbs left the interrogation room, he strode past his concerned team and grabbed his coat, dumping his gun into his desk and locking it. He could feel Director Shepard's concerned gaze on his back, but he didn't care. He strode into the elevator and immediately shut the doors, not wanting to share this elevator ride with anyone.

When he got to the ground floor, he strode out to his car, and as soon as he got in, he slammed the door shut and banged his fists on the steering wheel, fighting back angry and threatening tears.

Somehow he made it to one of his favorite bars, and when he strode in, the bartender Mark just shoved his favorite drink, a double scotch at him without question. Mark knew Gibbs pretty well, and could read the torturous expression on his face.

Gibbs drank until the clock struck midnight, and he was three sheets to the wind. But he had drunken more alcohol than that before, and he could handle it. To Mark, he didn't even look drunk at all. But Mark knew better, so he moved to call Abby.

_The days keep coming without fail  
New wind is gonna find your sail  
That's where your journey starts_

"No." Gibbs said firmly, and Mark said,

"Jethro, you can't drive."

"Don't call Abby. Someone else." Gibbs commanded, and Mark shrugged, dialing the other number he knew, which was Tony DiNozzo. About 20 minutes later, Tony strode into the bar and Gibbs stood up to meet him, downing the rest of his double scotch.

"Thanks, Mark." Tony said to Mark, and he nodded as Tony made to help Gibbs.

"I don't need help, DiNozzo. I just need a damn driver, all right?" Gibbs said, and Tony nodded, following him out the door. Tony knew that Gibbs was hit hard by that last case, so he didn't say a word as he drove Gibbs home.

When they pulled up to Gibbs's house, Abby was waiting on the front porch. She stood up when Tony started driving down the street, and when he pulled into the driveway, and Abby bolted down the stairs and ran right into Gibbs as he got out of the car, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Oh Gibbs, I was so worried, are you…" She started to say.

"I'm fine, Abby." Gibbs said shortly, gently pushing her away and storming into the house. Abby, a hurt expression on her face, turned and looked at Tony.

"Was the interrogation that bad?" She questioned, and he nodded gravely, saying,

"Boss didn't take it very well. He presented the evidence to the Lieutenant, and just like that, he confessed. The Lieutenant also took great pleasure in describing exactly how he murdered his wife and little girl." He spit out the last sentence with venom, and Abby nodded, saying,

"Thanks, Tony."

"You're welcome, Abbs." Tony said gently, and got in, driving off with a honk. Abby took a deep breath and walked into the house, hearing him downstairs. She silently walked down the steps and saw him furiously working on his boat. She walked up behind him and rubbed his back gently, saying,

"Gibbs, Gibbs, slow down, it's gonna be okay." At her touch, his defenses came down and he spun around, snapping,

"No, Abby, it won't be okay! I keep seeing, I just keep seeing Shannon, and Kelly, and I see myself murdering them! I just…"

_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me_

Abby was shocked, and he knew it, but didn't care. She wrapped her arms around him, but he pushed her away, and she said, hurt leaking into her tone,

"Gibbs…"

"No, Abbs. Just go."

"Go where?"

"Go back home."

"This is my home."

"Go back to your other home. I just, I want to be alone." He said shortly, and Abby nodded, letting her hand slide across his back. He tensed, he wanted to just grab her and let out all of his pent-up emotions, but he held himself back until he heard her car drive away. Then he released all of his emotions onto his boat, working furiously to try and finish it.

In the morning, Abby walked into work with red-rimmed eyes. She immediately went down into her lab, and when Gibbs came in, he looked like hell, but neither Tony, nor McGee, nor Ziva had the guts to tell him that.

But Director Shepard did. Jenny called him to her office, and when he strode in, Jenny motioned for him to sit down. "Jethro, you look like hell. You have more than enough time on the books, just take it and go somewhere." She said gently, and he stood up, beginning to pace.

"No, Jen, I can't. Work keeps me sane."

"I don't think so. Jethro, please, for once, just listen to me." Jenny pleaded, and when Gibbs shook his head, Jenny said, "Fine. But whenever you decided to listen to me, just leave. I'll put you down as on vacation."

"No, you won't, because I'm not going anywhere. I left the team once, I'm not going to do that again." He said shortly, and walked out. He went back to his desk and saw that Tony was gone. "Where's DiNozzo?" He asked, and Ziva replied,

"He went down to see Abby." Gibbs nodded and fell silent. Eventually, McGee got up and went downstairs to see Abby, and after a long moment so did Ziva.

--

End of this chapter, and please let me know what you think! I love constructive criticism, and thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked this chapter, and there's two more to go! Adios for now!


	2. Cause We Don't Never Wanna Stop

Second chapter to this story is up! Only one more to go after this! Thanks to all those who reviewed, I hope this chapter is okay! (And yes this still has Gabby angst, major angst in fact, and I'm not sure if the verbal argument at the end is in-character, after you read it let me know, please! THANKS!) ENJOY!!!

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_Just like the waves down by the shore  
We're gonna keep on coming back for more  
Cause we don't ever wanna stop_

"I don't know, Tony, I just don't know why he keeps pushing me away!" Abby said, as she slid under her computer to fix a snapped wire. Tony nodded and said,

"That's Gibbs. He clams up, won't let anyone see what he's feeling."

"Not the Gibbs I know! As long as we've been together, and it's been like 2 years, mind you, he's been more open to me."

"Well, not to us." McGee said, walking in.

"Must just be you, Abby." Ziva said, walking in right behind McGee. Abby slid out from under her computer and Tony put out a hand to pull her up. She stood up with Tony's help and said,

"Maybe, but when he pushes me away, especially last night, I felt useless, like he doesn't love me. And I know that's not true. At least, I think I know it's not true."

Gibbs stood outside the lab, listening to Abby's heartbreaking words. But now, his heart was too hardened to really care. He knew that by pushing Abby away, he pushed away the best thing that ever happened to him besides Shannon and Kelly, but with his hardened heart, he just didn't care.

He strode into the lab and set a Caf-Pow down, saying shortly, "We've got a case. Go upstairs and gear up, I'll be out there in a moment." The team nodded and walked out. Gibbs looked at Abby and saw her back to him, and he spun her around, putting his hands on her shoulders. He was shocked to see tears coursing down her face, and she said,

"Gibbs, last night, I get it that you wanted to be alone, but I wanted to help you, and, when you pushed me away, it hurt so bad, and…" Gibbs silenced her by pressing his lips roughly to hers for a long, heart stopping moment and then broke the kiss, saying,

"Don't come home tonight, Abbs. I'm just, I'm not ready yet."

With that he strode out, leaving Abby behind with a breaking heart. No, make that a shattering heart. She furiously wiped her tears away, and touched her still-tingling lips, shocked into non-speaking after Gibbs rough and sudden kiss.

For some reason, it just seemed like their last kiss. Abby didn't that, not at all, so she shoved those thoughts out of her mind and waited for the team to come back with her new evidence, while she left the Caf-Pow that Gibbs had brought her sitting on the desk, determined not to touch or drink it.

_Out in this brave new world you'll see  
Over the valleys and the peaks  
And I can see you on the top_

It took the team less than a day to solve the case, as it was a slam-dunk, a girl had been kidnapped by her father, but the father brought her back and turned himself in. Tony, Ziva and McGee were sent home, but instead doubled back and went down to Abby's lab, where Ducky was already hanging out.

Abby turned up her music and laughed as even Ducky began tapping his feet to the rhythm. She switched songs to "Where Did You Come From Cuttin' My Joe" and grabbed Tony, dancing with him. Ziva laughingly pulled McGee into the dancing mix, and halfway through the song they switched partners, laughing the entire time.

Gibbs rode the elevator down, trying to plan out how he was going to tell Abby that he needed a break from their relationship, kinda like a separation, but not really, since they aren't married.

Truth be told, he just needed time to think things through, to try and figure out where their relationship was headed, and what he was going to do if the relationship went in whatever direction it was headed.

He hated having to think about things like that, but after what that Lieutenant did, it forced Gibbs to think about not who he was, but who he was now, after all this time. The bad part was that if whatever was bothering Gibbs took him down, it would take Abby down with it. And that was why he needed to distance himself from her.

He had promised himself right after Shannon died that he would never get too close emotionally to anyone, so he could up and leave at any time, and not have any regrets. Well, with Abby and the team, that just ripped that promise to shreds. He had thought, by going to Mexico, that he could reestablish that promise, but no such luck. After only a summer, he had cared too much about his team and came back to save Ziva, and then to help out Fornell, and then, it was too much.

He couldn't stay away from his team, especially not Abby.

He just kept wishing that Abby would move on and find someone else, someone new, but deep in his heart he wished and knew that it wasn't true. For some unknown reasons, Abby loved him beyond life itself, and Gibbs tried to reciprocate with the same love, but couldn't find it in himself to give that kind of love, after what had happened with Shannon.

_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me_

Gibbs took a breath and walked into the pulsing lab, saying loudly over the music, "I thought I told you all to go home!"

The music was turned down, and everyone looked at him. "Um, on my way, boss." Tony muttered, walking out, with Ziva and McGee following in his wake. They didn't dare question Gibbs when he had that look on his face, like he had on now.

It was that look that said, 'if you don't get out of this room now I will kick your ass out of here, and don't think I won't.'

Ducky kept standing next to Abby, until Gibbs just looked at him, pleading with his eyes to leave, so he could talk to Abby. With a sigh, he patted Abby on the shoulder and left, tossing a look back at Gibbs.

"I don't want to talk to you, Gibbs." Abby said, bustling around, getting her stuff together to leave.

"I want to talk to you." He said quietly, and Abby spun around, saying heatedly,

"And what gives you the right to talk to me? You just told me, not five hours ago that you didn't want me to come home. So please, Gibbs, tell me what gives you the right to talk to me."

Gibbs took a deep breath and said, trying to keep his temper under control, "Because we need to talk. Not just me, we."

"Fine." Abby said, crossing her arms. "Talk. You've got about 5 minutes."

"Sit down, Abbs."

"My name is Abby, and I do not feel like sitting down." Abby said quietly, and Gibbs winced inwardly at her tone, but he didn't blame her in the slightest. In fact, he knew that he deserved it.

"Abby, I've been thinking…"

"I can tell. You've had that 'thinking' look on your face all day. And by the look on your face now, it's not a good thing, is it?"

"Not exactly. It's just, Abby, that you love me, with all your heart and soul and mind and body, and…"

--

End of this chapter! I hope I did the argument right, because it'll continue into the next chapter! The next chapter will be the last one, and thanks for reading! I hope you liked this addition, and adios for now!!!


	3. And I Can't Hurt You Anymore

Third and final chapter of this story! The beginning has more of the argument, so I hope I did this part of the argument in-character too! (PS, thanks so much for those who reviewed!!!) ENJOY!!!

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_Remember me when you're out walking  
When snow falls high outside your door  
Late at night when you're not sleeping  
And moonlight falls across your floor  
_

"Yeah, I do. Why, is that a problem?"

"Actually, yeah it is. Because, I can't reciprocate that kind of love, I just don't have it in me, not now."

"Not now? Does that mean just for now, or for forever?" She asked, uncrossing her arms.

"I honestly don't know, Abby." Gibbs confessed, and Abby's eyes hardened.

"So, are you breaking up with me, or what?"

"No, Abby, I just, I need a break, from us. Temporary."

"There is no such thing in a relationship!" Abby almost yelled at him, striding past him. He caught her arm, but she jerked it out of his grasp. He said,

"Abby, wait."

"No. You want me to be what, just a booty call or something? Someone that you can fall back on whenever you need a woman? No, Gibbs, either you have me all the time, or you don't have me at all." She said, standing in the elevator and pushing the button that made them slide shut.

Gibbs swore under his breath and took the stairs. He saw a glimpse of Abby as she strode into the elevator that would take her out of the NCIS building, and heard her sobs and caught a glimpse of her tears.

It nearly killed him to know that he was hurting her that much.

That night, as Gibbs slept fitfully, his dreams filled with Abby, Shannon and Kelly, his front door opened quietly. A figure slipped silently up to his bedroom, and opened his bedroom door just as silently. Gibbs slept on, deeply in sleep, and the figure sidled carefully up to his bedside. The figure stared down at him for a long moment, and then brushed a hand down his cheek. Still Gibbs didn't stir, so the figure leaned down and gently brushed their lips with his.

"I love you." The figure whispered, and quickly walked out before either Gibbs woke up or she started crying. As she walked out to her car, the wind whipped around her and blew her hood off, revealing the tear-covered face of Abby Sciuto.

_And I can't hurt you anymore_

Gibbs went home, deeply depressed now, and when he got back into work the next day, he found Tony, Ziva and McGee at their desks. When he walked past them, they all glared at him. He stopped in his tracks and said,

"If you all have a problem with me, say it now."

They all stood up, and Tony said quietly, "Boss, have you heard from Abby?"

"No. She's downstairs, isn't she?"

"No. She's on a plane, probably half-way to Central America." Ziva said, her eyes hard and Gibbs was speechless for a moment.

"If this is some kind of joke…" Gibbs threatened, and McGee said,

"No joke, Boss. She even left us each a note, telling us exactly why she left."

Gibbs strode over to his desk and snatched up an envelope, that simply read,

"Gibbs, I'll love you more and more forever. But I can't stay with someone who doesn't love or wants me. I'm so sorry, but I can't let you hurt me anymore. Goodbye forever. Love, Abby."

"It's better this way." Gibbs muttered, and the director appeared at the top of the stairs, saying loudly,

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, get your Special Agent hide into my office right now."

McGee, Ziva and Tony stepped aside, but kept their cold gazes on Gibbs's back as he disappeared into the Director's office.

"You wanted to see me, Director?" Gibbs said as he walked inside, and shut the door.

"Damn straight I did. Why did you do something like that to Abby? You know how sensitive she is to feelings, and then you go pushing her out of your life? How could you do that to Abby?" Jenny said in disbelief, and Gibbs just shook his head.

_You'll find better love  
Strong as it ever was  
Deep as the river runs  
Warm as the morning sun  
Please remember me  
_

"Leave it alone, Jen. It's better this way. She'll find better love than what I could give her."

"Are you kidding me, Jethro? She won't ever find someone else. When you fall in the kind of love Abby fell into with you, you don't just forget about it and find someone else." Jenny said evenly, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Like I said, Jen, leave it alone."

"I can't. We just lost our best forensic technician, and I have to find a replacement for her that is hopefully half as good as Abby. I hope you're happy, Jethro." She said quietly, narrowing her eyes at him as he got up to leave.

"No, I'm not happy. But I hope she is." He muttered as he strode out. He saw the team still giving him cold looks, and he sighed, knowing that he was to expect that for a while, maybe even for the rest of the time he was with them.

He couldn't stay with his team, so he got in the elevator and decided to take a trip down to Ducky's morgue. He strode in and saw Ducky sitting at his desk, staring at something. "You know, it's almost hard to fathom the idea of NCIS without Abby." Ducky said quietly, spinning around to face Gibbs. "And it's even harder to fathom the idea that she was driven away by a close friend of mine."

Before Gibbs could reply, Ducky stood up and walked along the morgue, saying, "But then again, maybe he's not as close as I thought, because I never believed him capable of breaking dear Abby's heart, and then driving her away. Only a very cold, bitter man could do that."

"Maybe I am a cold, bitter man." Gibbs said, and Ducky shrugged, saying,

"What's done is done, Jethro."

"Yeah. Yeah, Duck, I know." Gibbs said, and clapped his friend on the shoulder as he walked out, saying quietly, "But that doesn't mean I don't regret it, Duck."

Gibbs rode the elevator back up, and suddenly hit the emergency button, going and sliding down to sit on the floor of the elevator. He remembered when he had comforted Abby in that exact same place, except now he was alone and bitter. He took out his wallet, and pulled out the picture of himself and Abby that he had.

He looked at it for a long time, and traced Abby's face with his right index finger. He swallowed hard and tried to say exactly what he had always meant to say, but instead it just came out a quiet, whispered,

"Please remember me, Abbs. God I love you so much."

_Please remember me_

--

Well, what do you think? Love, hate, in-between? I really hope you liked this, and thanks so much for reading! Adios!


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